Adopted children bring joy and love to a family. These children have often faced challenges, such as being placed in the foster care system that made them move around a lot. This can make them uneasy if something happens and their adopted parents are heading toward a divorce.
You should realize that adopted children will go through the same process as biological children during the divorce. When you went through the adoption process, you agreed to care for the children as your own, for the rest of your life. Just because you are divorcing doesn’t mean that you will do away with this commitment.
Challenges of divorce with adopted children
One of the biggest challenges is that the kids may be emotionally traumatized. Children who were adopted as infants and those who are your biological children never had to deal with the back and forth and constant moves inside the foster care system. Children who dealt with the instability of going through such flux might be concerned that it will happen again.
Helping the kids
You must find ways to help the children to understand that a divorce only means that they will have two homes instead of one. It might help if you and your ex speak to them together to provide a plan for what is going to happen. They need to know what to expect. Encourage them to be open with you about their feelings. This can help them to feel like they have some control over the situation.
Creating the custody agreement
One of the best ways that you can help the situation is to get the custody agreement set as quickly as possible. This gives you the plan for the children and you can relay the terms to them promptly Having the schedule and knowing what to expect from one day to the next can be comforting to children. You might consider getting their input if they are old enough to make their wishes known and have the understanding about how decisions will impact them.
Letting them know the rules can also be beneficial. You might be tempted to let things slide at first. However, this sets an unrealistic expectation for the new way of life. If you and your ex are co-parenting, the transition from one home to the other can be easier if many of the major rules will be consistent between both homes.